Day 12 comes from my cute mom. I. LOVE. MY. MOM. I feel like it would be impossible to put into words the love I have for her, so I’m not going to try here. But I’m just so, so grateful that she’s my mom. And so grateful for the kind of person that she is, and the kind of friend she is. And so grateful to have watched her step so beautifully into the role of grandma this year:
“I really looked forward to being a grandma. I couldn’t wait for little ones in the family again. Even as excited as I was, I didn’t know I would love these little ones as much as I do. Loving them is my joy.
When Britt called me from a campground in Nebraska to tell me she was expecting, I couldn’t stop crying. I knew how the very possibility of that little one had pulled Britt through some really hard times, and I loved that baby for basically rescuing my baby. That pregnancy was full of expectation and with every ultrasound picture and trimester completed, I fell more and more in love with our Baby Grace. I had the honor and blessing of being with Brittany and Richie when Grace was born. Her mama had to work so hard and I was so proud of her. When Grace arrived, I was overwhelmed with love, but I tried to stay back a bit and make sure her mom and dad had their first precious moments with this baby. My friend Tracey, whom I have worked with for years, was the nursery nurse. She took Grace and weighed and measured her and cleaned her up a bit, and then said, “Are you ready for her, Grandma?” And I got to take that perfect angel baby in my arms. Everyone at work knew how much I had anticipated this moment. I looked at Grace and my heart got tight. That baby looked right into my soul! There was an instant connection. We knew each other. She loved me despite all my faults, and I loved her with an overwhelming power. I knew right then that my life would never be the same.
By the time Grace was born, we knew we had another precious grandbaby on the way. I was at the the end of a shift at work when the news of Tori’s pregnancy began circulating throughout the family. By the time I got home and actually saw the message on my phone, I was full of amazement. I sought clarification and then once again wept. I was instantly in love with this little grandchild. I was overjoyed to find out we were getting another granddaughter. I loved hearing how Margot’s personality emerged even while in the womb. (Girlfriend likes a schedule, good music, the sound of dad’s voice, and so on.) I was blessed to get to be in the delivery room in a California hospital when little Margot made her debut. We had been at the hospital almost 24 hours by then, and I was so proud of her mama for her patience and diligence in getting that little girl delivered. All through that night, when the nurses would come to check on Tori, they would say, “That’s a happy little heartbeat!” I fell in love with Margot’s vibrancy that night. When she did arrive, her parents and I were in tears. I could see how Tori’s existing love for this baby ballooned in an instant! My first thought upon seeing Margot was, “She has Tori’s lips!” This was followed closely by, “Wow! That is a loud cry for such a little baby!” I was quite tickled by Margot’s strength and her need to be heard. I got to spend the first couple weeks of Margot’s life with her in California. Like 24/7. What a joy. I got to take the early morning shift on many an occasion, and I cannot tell you how much I loved those wee morning hours with that precious baby. I loved the feel of her in my arms. I loved the dark and quiet as I absorbed her spirit.
I know that I am luckier than most grandmas. Margot got to come to Utah and spend two months of her mother’s maternity leave in my home. I got to love on that baby almost every day. And I get to be Grace’s babysitter when her mom is teaching school every other day. I love these Grandma days. I knew I would love them before they ever got here, but I have been so humbled and blessed by the love they have given to me.
Sometimes, when they have been fussy, I have been able to take them and calm them, and help them to sleep. Those times make me feel useful and of worth. I’m so grateful for that. And also, those times make me hopeful that they can feel the love I have for them, and that is why they respond so positively to my touch.
When life’s worries or trials get to me, and I am unloading on my sweet husband, he will usually say, “Do you have Grace tomorrow?” He knows that when I spend time with her, my life is better and my anxious soul is soothed. And updates of Miss Margot work wonders as well. If I get a video of Miss Margot laughing at her mother blowing raspberries on her belly, well, how is the world anything but awesome? These little girls are my very good friends. Their smiles and giggles are my joy. They make me love MORE. I feel tremendous love for their sweet daddies; the sons I had to wait years for. I love watching my husband be a grandpa. He may just love these grandbabies as much as I do, and I know they love him. I can enjoy how precious and miraculous and joyful their little lives are, because I have complete confidence in their parents. I have loved watching my girls become mommies. They are so good at it. I look forward to seeing all three of my daughters parent for years to come. And most of all, I am so touched and grateful for these tiny women who seem to love me. Thank you, Gracie Bean and Miss Margot! I love you and all your siblings and cousins to come!”