Day Five comes from my cute friend, Ashley! I love this girl. I love her passion, her tenacity, her ability to express herself, and her light. I love how much she gives to others and how well she knows herself, and I have loved reading her writing and having her read mine over the years. #blogbuddies Basically, she is wonderful, and I love what she says about loving someone:
“Love is one of those things I’ve daydreamed about since I was a little girl. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I was in love with the idea of love, and the idea of being in love.
I’ve seen the most iconic chick flicks, sang all the songs, and read all the sappy novels–and I still haven’t been able to nail down a concrete definition of what love is.
Love is a feeling that changes not only from person to person, but within a person as well.
When I was in elementary school, I thought love was sneaking a hug behind Windridge Elementary with the boy I had a crush on, playing MASH at recess to find my soul mate, and running from Trevor Jensen during kissing tag on the playground.
When I was in junior high, love was awkward slow dances at the monthly regional dances, listening to Brad singing “Hero” to me over the phone, and Valentine’s candygrams during lunch.
When I was in high school, love was nightly phone calls when he was on his way home from hockey practice, doorbell ditched flowers, and something that sounded an awful lot like Bruno Mars’ “Just the Way You Are.”
When I was in college, love was canyon drives in the middle of the night, whirlwind summer flings, and fighting for attention when everybody told me not to.
I have pages and pages of journals devoted to what I thought were “needs” in a relationship, and every single one of them had been disproved by one boy or another. Every scenario was different from the one before, and the lists I’d put so much thought into weren’t even close to fully applicable.
After a particularly emotionally taxing relationship with a boy I thought checked everything off my lists came to a close, I realized that love couldn’t be compiled into a list. That Sunday, our bishop’s wife taught a lesson about relationships and important qualities in finding a spouse.
She said, “there is no one person that is going to fill all your requirements and fit you perfectly. In fact, the list of things that bug you may be longer than the list of things that are good. But are the important things there?”
It was then that I realized that as crucial as I thought it was to find somebody who fit the “tall, dark, and handsome” order, or somebody who was on the same level of loud and extroverted as I am, or somebody who understood why I loved The Great Gatsby as much as I did; that it was more important to find somebody who had the same priorities that I did, somebody who could balance my volume rather than add to it, and somebody who could display the patience I’m working to find every single day. Finding somebody who had the same beliefs and ideals I did was more important than making sure he was a hockey player, and respect in a relationship is more significant than the cheesy texts I thought every girl so desperately needed.
Love is constant, and constantly changing. It’s the enduring nature of it that makes it both desirable and terrifying at the same time. I’ve heard people say that love is giving somebody the power to break you and trusting them not too–but I think it’s also recognizing that this person gives you something worth fighting for and deciding that you’re going to fight for it as long as you can.
Love is recognizing that you have something to lose, and protecting that at all costs.
Love is more than a outline of physical qualities your boyfriend should have or a wish list of your future husband’s dream jobs–it’s finding somebody who makes you laugh and takes you seriously, and somebody whose effort matches yours.
Love isn’t a checklist that can be attained in one move; it’s that feeling you get when you look at somebody and realize that this person, right here, is who you want to be with no matter what.
So love. Love big, love hard, and love completely. But don’t confine your heart to a check list, because the person that makes you happier than you’ve ever been before just might be right around the next corner.”