I feel like the title of that post makes it sound like I’m having a baby. I’m not.
I AM, however, going on a mission. At the end of this semester, I will be leaving to serve a 18-month mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
And I’ve kept pretty mum about the process, because for me, it WAS a process. It was so personal. And so different than I thought it would be.
I wanted it to be a straight shot. I wanted to just run right for it. But He had other plans for me and my process.
It had its twists and its turns and God was in every last one of them. They were all not only important, but absolutely essential to my being ready to be a missionary. They were places I love dearly and always will, even if they felt like trials before they looked like blessings. They were the only paths that could lead me to being the person I need to become to accept the call that is coming. And I still have so much growing to do. I’m a 19 year old girl. But I feel joy about what I have accomplished. I feel surety in who I am. I’m so happy about this semester and what it holds for me. I’m so grateful for all the good people around me, who humble me by association and teach me so much by their beautiful examples. I love my Father in Heaven so much for knowing the timing that is best for me individually.
And today, as I sat across from my stake president, both our eyes filled with tears, I felt an overwhelming peace and joy. He said, “I am so proud of you and the person that you are. It just shines.” And the Spirit said, You’re here.
And even though I have so much further to go, even though I have nowhere near arrived at being the kind of person I need to be, there was so much beauty in being there, and knowing that I am going to serve the Lord. There was joy in having had to walk the extra miles it took for the timing to be right for me. My papers are submitted. It’s happening. I am going to be Sister Ballif. And wherever I am called, I will be going exactly where I need to go.
And I think the greatest miracle of that, is that this isn’t the first time the Lord has called me by name and told me where I am needed. He does so every day, through a million little things. The only difference is, this time he’ll be saying it on paper, and the assignment will be for 18 months. And it could be coming any time now. I am so, so happy.
So where am I headed, friends?! Whoever guesses correctly gets their favorite food homemade and hand-delivered… unless you live cross-country. Then I’m gonna mail it to you. Wrapped in all kinds of love.