“What they had in common was a sense of courage. And I want to separate courage and bravery for you for a minute. Courage, the original definition of courage, when it first came into the English language — it’s from the Latin word cor, meaning heart — and the original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. And so these folks had, very simply, the courage to be imperfect.They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others, because, as it turns out, we can’t practice compassion with other people if we can’t treat ourselves kindly. And the last was they had connection, and — this was the hard part — as a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely do that for connection.
The other thing that they had in common was this: They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They didn’t talk about vulnerability being comfortable, nor did they really talk about it being excruciating — as I had heard it earlier in the shame interviewing. They just talked about it being necessary. They talked about the willingness to say, “I love you” first, the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees, the willingness to breathe through waiting for the doctor to call after your mammogram. They’re willing to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out.They thought this was fundamental.
“…This is what I have found: to let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen; to love with our whole hearts, even though there’s no guarantee — and that’s really hard… that’s excruciatingly difficult — to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, when we’re wondering, “Can I love you this much? Can I believe in this this passionately? Can I be this fierce about this?” just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say, “I’m just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I’m alive.” And the last, which I think is probably the most important, is to believe that we’re enough.Because when we work from a place, I believe, that says, “I’m enough,” then we stop screaming and start listening, we’re kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we’re kinder and gentler to ourselves.“
Have we talked about my bizarre fixation with TED Talks? Well, we’re about to. This website… There’s not a bad egg in the bunch. I only wish they’d add Matt Foley to the motivational speaker/researcher rotation. (If you don’t know Matt Foley, give him a Google. You will be forever changed.) Clearly, when I’m busting out the Chris Farley references, I am missing my cute father.
Anyway, TED Talks. Whenever I listen to or read them, I always feel sophisticated and inspired as heck. Like I should be wearing a satin suit/lounge-robe and sitting in an arm chair with my hands interlaced. Raising my eyebrow pretentiously at the world.
Anyway. There’s more where those lovely words above came from if you click HERE. Absolutely worth your time. It is my all-time favorite. 🙂 And… so are you.
Enjoy that wisdom when you’re LIVIN’ IN A VAN, DOWN BY THE RIVER!